How to Combat Anxiety, Panic Attacks, & Depersonalization

It Happened to Me

I experienced depersonalization for the first time ten years ago. I was 15 years old, a sophomore in high school. I had just answered a question incorrectly in Spanish class. I was mortified. When you are shy (or suffering from anxiety) it takes a lot to raise your hand in class. The moment you even consider it, the “what ifs?” flood your mind. What if I get it wrong? What if everyone stares at me? What if the teacher embarrasses me? What if everyone thinks I am stupid? What if I blush? What if I sweat? What if I faint? What if I have a heart attack? It sounds crazy, that is, if you’ve never suffered from anxiety. On the other hand, if you have, then you know exactly what I’m talking about.

As the “whatifs” flooded my mind, something began to happen. I started to lose touch with reality. I drifted further and further into panic. In reality, I had raised my hand and gotten an answer wrong. In my head, it was much worse than that. The world was crumbling around me. I could feel every pair of eyes in the room searing through my skin. I knew that everyone was thinking about how stupid I was. My face turned red, I started to sweat, and my heart raced. I thought that I would faint. And then it happened, depersonalization.

I began to slowly drift away from my physical body. And then I was outside of my body looking in, as if in a dream. I was frozen and confused. I thought that I was having a mental break down. I would need to be carried away in a straight-jacket. My life was over. Eventually I came back to earth; but that was only the beginning of what would be a long, hard battle.

I would continue to suffer from depersonalization as a result of my anxiety for many years. It would not be until years later that I would discover the CBT that would save my life. Depersonalization can strike at any time. For me, it most often occurred in social situations. I would be in the middle of a conversation and the warning signs would appear:

• Dark spots, or floaters, would appear in my line of vision
• Voices (mine and others) would begin to carry an echo as if speaking into a deep cave
• My heart would race
• I believed that my words were no longer “making sense”
• I would begin to float away from my body

What Causes Depersonalization?

All of the symptoms that I have discussed are caused by a panic attack. A panic attack is a distinct period of intense fear that develops abruptly and usually reaches a crescendo within a few minutes or less. Physical symptoms may include hyperventilation, palpitations, trembling, sweating, dizziness, hot flashes or chills, numbness or tingling, and the sensation or fear of nausea or choking. Psychologic symptoms may include depersonalization, fear of fainting, dying, doing something uncontrolled, or losing one’s mind. Panic attacks are caused by anxiety.

I did not know it, but I had been suffering from relatively intense anxiety my entire life. In retrospect, I suffered from anxiety from the time I was a toddler. Even as a two-year-old, I was constantly worried about my baby sister. As we grew older, I continued to worry over her and then over all aspects of my life. My worry was not normal or rational. It was intense and unnecessary; but no one could help me. I was a child and everyone just thought I was a “worrier.”

Taking Control

As I mentioned above, it would take years for me to overcome anxiety and lead a normal life. It would take years after that for me to lead an exceptional life, unaffected by anxiety — comfortable speaking in front of large crowds, being the center of attention, and becoming a healthy, confident woman. Overcoming anxiety (and depression) even led me to lose 70 pounds which I’ve talked about in more detail here.

All people suffer from varying degrees of anxiety and even depersonalization. Almost everyone has had some sort of outer-body experience. Whether it happens on a regular basis or on a rare occasion (think life flashing before your eyes before a car crash), it happens to all of us. We have developed these mental coping mechanisms as a result of thousands of years of evolution. In some cases, anxiety is healthy. You would certainly need some level of anxiety whilst scavenging for berries outside of a sleeping bear’s cave, for example.

However, too much of anything is not healthy. Too much anxiety is debilitating. It prevents you from living the life of your dreams. So what can you do to keep your anxiety in at a healthy level? There isn’t a really simple solution or a quick fix, so don’t let anybody fool you. It actually takes a lot of hard work (sometimes even years) because you have to completely re-train your mind. You have to change your thought processes. There are many ways to do this (therapy, hypnotism, etc.); however I used a process called CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) to treat my anxiety and I had amazing results. You can read more about my experience with CBT here.

There are a couple of simple ways to decrease your anxiety before it begins to spiral out of control:

1. Control your thoughts. Panic attacks are almost always caused by negative irrational thoughts. If you stop those negative irrational thoughts as they occur, and turn them into positive rational thoughts immediately, you are far less likely to spiral into a panic attack.

Practice changing your thoughts by keeping a daily thought journal. Jot down your negative irrational thoughts on one side of the paper and turn them into positive rational thoughts on the other side. If you practice this habit enough, eventually you will be able to do it automatically and avoid panic attacks altogether.

2. Breathe. Panic attacks are almost always accompanied by a rapid heart beat. Rapid heart beat is a universal symptoms of fear — from a gazelle being stalked by a lion to a student giving a presentation to her class. As we exhibit symptoms of fear, we give in to it. First the rapid heart beat, then the sweat, and then the rest of the “fight or flight” response. By slowing down your heart rate, however, you can avoid the whole chain and stop it before it ever gets to the panic stage.

Shallow breathing causes rapid heart rare and conversely, deep breathing causes a slower heart rate. As soon as you begin to experience the fear, take a deep breath in through your nostrils. Let the air flow through your chest and deep into the pit of your stomach. Allow your stomach to expand, like a balloon, as it fills with air. Then slowly exhale through your nose and expel all of the air from your body. Breathe in deeply again, allowing the air to fill your stomach as before. Each time you inhale, take in the positive energy & light around you. Let it fill & calm your soul. Each time you exhale, push out your negative energy & fear. Continue to do this until you feel calm.

Practice this breathing exercise daily (perhaps as a meditation each morning or night). Then, the next time that you feel yourself beginning to panic you will be expertly prepared to calm yourself through breath.

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I suffered from anxiety for my entire life. Some days, I still suffer from anxiety. The difference now is that I have the tools necessary to defeat the anxiety & live my best life. When I fall down, I get back up. Every. Single. Time. If you are suffering, know that you can and you will get through this! Anxiety is not the end. You can overcome it.

I am now offering personalized coaching sessions to individuals suffering from anxiety. Sessions are held on the phone, on line, and/or in person. If you are interested in scheduling a session or series of sessions, please contact me at denabotbyl[@]gmail[.]com for details and rates. Include CBT Session in the subject line.

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